by Helen Antholis
Session #8 of 8: Summer Series: How to Be a Better Leader
Resolving conflict is an essential skill for a boss. Conflict in the workplace is unavoidable. Even with the best attempts at communicating, there is bound to be some degree of conflict. Keep in mind that each individual in the workplace has a whole stadium of people and experiences behind them. How that person views conflict and responds to it will be shaped by those experiences. As a leader, our role is to prevent conflict and, when it occurs, manage it.
Welcome, class.
This is the last session in the free Summer Leadership Series.
If you are dropping in for the first time, click here for the Introductory Session posted on 7/5.
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Listen, Engage, Act, Dare to Change
As you know from the Introduction, we have been covering 8 essential functions for a boss to master to work effectively and efficiently (we’ll use “boss” for manager, supervisor, team leader, i.e., anyone who supervises others). With each post, you thought about how you’d be better at Listening, Engaging, Acting, and Daring to change. In other words, be a better LEADer. At the end of this post, enter into your notebook the actions you’ll take to apply these behaviors to the function discussed. At the end of this session, you’ll have the most-personalized performance plan ever developed. Then take the assessment again to discover your learning gain. Ready?
As you think about communication in the workplace, here are ways to think about conflict:
1. Don’t think conflicts are based solely on personality. It’s easy to say “It’s a personality conflict” to dismiss miscommunications. But it’s better to understand the reasons and look for ways to improve.
2. Don’t think conflicts can’t be resolved. Conflicts not only CAN be resolved, they MUST be resolved to build solid working relationships based on trust and open communications.
3. Don’t think there’s only one way to resolve a conflict. Many times, we form habits of how to resolve conflict. Some of us avoid the situation, some confront, some attack. The key is find productive ways of resolving conflict through mutual respect and collaboration. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s worth exploring different ways of assessing a situation.
4. Don’t think once a conflict is resolved, it will never recur. Ah, wouldn’t that be great. Fix it once and it goes away. Not so easy with people. Each day brings new surprises to the workplace. Expect conflict and you won’t be disappointed when it occurs.
5. Don’t think conflicts are unhealthy. Conflicts, when expressed with respect and calm, can be very healthy ways of getting to a proper resolution. Remember Group Think? Going along to avoid conflict is the surest road to disaster. Express yourself and allow others to do the same. But set ground rules on how to do that politely and with civility.
6. Don’t think resolving conflict is not a learned skill. Many models have been developed on how to manage conflict. One can learn how to do this. Do a search on “Conflict Resolution Strategies” and you’ll find numerous resources.
7. Don’t think others can’t benefit from learning about how to resolve conflict. Talk to your staff and colleagues about the topic. When you learn something, share it. Once you do, you’ll learn even more.
8. Don’t think you’re all alone in this. Chances are good that your manager and colleagues are experiencing the same thing. Talk to them about how they are handling conflict. What has worked for them? What hasn’t?
9. Don’t think that there’s a difference between men and women for resolving conflict. Avoid stereotyping people by gender. If you do, you’ll most likely create the conflict you were hoping to avoid. Treat people as individuals. Train your mind to ignore those generalizations you’ve heard in your past. Control your emotions and assess the situation for what it is, not what you think it is.
10. Don’t think that one’s ethnicity/race/upbringing creates an embedded and stereotypical characteristic for causing and resolving conflict. When you face a conflict, you may find yourself thinking in ways that are counter-productive. Don’t mentally assign someone to a group and think you can extrapolate or predict their thinking and behavior. It is a false assumption and if you act on it, you will find yourself in a very difficult situation. Treat each situation individually, respect people for who they are, and deal with behaviors, not “attitudes.”
HOMEWORK:
- List in your journal your methods for dealing with conflict and identify new ways of approaching situations. Identity assumptions you make that are not valid. List actions you will take to mitigate conflict.
We have enjoyed bringing you this free 8-week Summer Series on How To Be A Better Leader. Please tell us what you thought of it (worksmarta {at} gmail {dot} com). And let us know how we can further assist you in learning and growing.
As a conflict-resolution manager, you need to:
- Listen with compassion to yourself and others
- Engage with empathy the hearts and minds of colleagues, managers, and staff in the process
- Act with respect as you navigate inevitable challenges, and
- Dare to change old habits and mindsets about the process.
Resolving Conflicts: an essential element of being a better leader.